minnfenn ♥ 敏芬

HAPPY CNY everyone!
a new start.
=)

thanx my FRENZ!
those who r reading my blog.
thank u so much for the past few days
when i was most down.
u guys were here for me.
it's juz that i didn't turn to u guys.
realli thank u guys!!! *touch*
u should know who u guys r.
esp those i didn't expected they will read
n found my blog by themselves.
haha.. =)

through out the days when i'm down
my life brighten up
esp with my frens, U, around
suddenly, i luv going sch so much.
becoz when i was in sch there were no sad times
onli happy times.

hmmm...once again we r together.
i own u guys an explanation.
becoz i realli luv him.
do i?
i juz luv his gd points. =)
lolx...

btw, i change my game!
hey guys!!!
this is nice ok.
try it. =)

lastly,
THANK U GUYS so so much!!!
n3tzz,shuli,qiu ping,sy,hz,tq
melvin,weeeng.
did i miss out anyone?
i think i did.
KK, JAYSON, MOMO!!!
see. i didn't forget u guys eh. haha..
touch ma? =D
if i miss out any. i'm sorry.
i have serious STM.
if u r readin my blog.
PLS TAG. thx!!!

♥, yours truely

this is the 3rd time i'm re-typing.

not gonna type everything out again.

maybe somethings are not fated to be read here.

anyway. tc.

♥, yours truely

FUCK
ya. juz scolded fuck.
dun like it juz dun visit my blog then.
sorry. but i'm realli stress up.
haiz...
IHATE MYLIFE!

y do i need to live in this FUCKing world.
gosh.
so wat if there r happy times?
it's a hell when comes to the sad times.
bloody world.

i was like so happy for half a day.
trying to be happy in front of my classmates
of coz my classmates brighten up my days.
thanx to HZ, SY n TQ.
after that went out with shuli.
it was alrite.
happy? OF COZ! =)

keep looking at my hp.
no sign.
until 10 plus.
she got hers t0o.
we were happy?
however it didn't goes well after that for me.

sms until i reach home.
then my mum told me abt the BLOODY singtel didn't receive the payment.
WTF!
that stupid singtel made me run so many places for nothing.
FUCK them man!
now i got to go back to singtel n settle.
n my stupid bro didn't even care.
he got a share ok.
y muz i always the one helping to settle all these bloody stuff.
next is that ASSHOLE stepfather.
juz know how to complain this n that.
BASTARD!
he keep quarrelling with my mum
abt that singtel thing
saying that i didn't pay or wat.
he thinks i take his money or wat!
ASSHOLE!
i've been using my money
n my mum didn't even give my allowance.
BLOODYHELL!
man r JERKS!!!

he got a headache so he went to sleep.
haiz.. i rather he didn't msg me.
so that i wont be so sad that no one is there for me.
i need a ear to listen to me.
i dun blame him either.
i can't blame anyone.
i need a shoulder.

feeling much more better now.
thanx to blogger. =)
alrite. take care. sorry for all the F***ing.

haiz.. i'm realli stress.
juz as i was abt to end this whole blog in a nicer way
mum came in n tell me abt the singtel thing again.
n my fren's prob i got to help him solve.
regret listening to him
is not that i dun wan.
it's juz now i'm realli very piss.
i realli feel like crying now.
haiz,, y am i living in this world.
haiz...................................................
i tot i was suppose to be strong.
i failed again.

♥, yours truely

i'm
sad sad sad sad sad.
almost cry.
few tears roll down.

hmmm... was hoping to meet him ytd.
but didn't.
was thinking abt taking pic n watching movie.
brought up my courage to call him after sch
asking where he is.
he is gonna do his project.
told him that i'm going out with my fren.
but actually the person i feel like going out with
is HIM.
haiz..
keep looking at my phone from 5 - 7pm
there's no sign.
maybe he has given up.
so brought hom maggie mee to cook.
watch tv from 7 - 10pm.
he called at 9.30pm
wrong timing.
i was cooking my maggie mee as well as watching tv.
n at that time i was still kinda piss off.
haiz.. i dunno wth i'm thinking.
missing him n angry with him at the same time.
then keep changing my nick.
hoping he will see?

suddenly change to 'heart broken'
while watching ytd show.
n got dc.
then was connected back
everyone started asking wat happen.
didn't tell them much.
guess they all roughly know wat's wrong le.

i've given up since last nite.
kept telling myself to be strong.
yes i will be.
i'm tired.
need a break.

alrite. cut it out!
think abt happy times ya?
l0ok forward. =)
later gonna go buy new year clothes!!!
with my lao po.
'single' ladies uh.
haha...

enjoy ur day pple!!!!!
coz.......... i'm gonna enjoy mine! =D

*the greatest distance is when i'm infront of u n u dun believe that i luv u.*

♥, yours truely

finally got my courage to blog.
u guys muz be wondering wth i'm talking abt rite?
hmmm.. since onli my gd frens will read it i shall post it here.

11 months.
going to the end.
long? nah. dun think so.
compare to FOREVER?
it's not even 1/10.

muz be wondering wat happen.
endless of quarrels.
dunno wat's wrong with me.
i've no idea.
i dun like to quarrel either.
izzit becoz i have high hopes?
i dunno y i can't accept his bad points.
i realli can't.
i try to
but whenever i see him doing it again n again
i juz dun like it.
izzit becoz of family background?
but my family isn't that gd either.
i hate my bro when he eats too
i'll tell him off if he eat like that with me.
do u know wat izzit?
i juz dislike pple eating with their mouth open.
yupz. that's it.

am i weird?
haiz..i have no idea.
i was once like that.
but got scolded by my aunt.
izzit becoz of this i wan them to be like me?
seriously i juz wan them to have some table manners.
it's not that i'm so gd or wat
juz that watever i think it's rite i wanna tell pple.

there r juz too many to put down here.
i'm not perfect either.
then y can he accept me for who i am but not me?
seriously i onli can't accept the 2 bad habits.
i agree i can be unreasonable
not some time but most of the time.
i wont agree that i'm unreasonable
unless i calm myself down n think abt it.
almost everytime when we quarrel
i'll bring up the word 'break up'
everytime he will ask me to think carefully first.
so in the end we didn't.
but he brought up twice. 2 times onli
when he said that i juz agree with it.
i didn't even ask him to consider or wat
the first time when he said
i kinda regretted so i said juz continue
provided we'll change for the better.

ytd was the 2nd time.
it's also our 11 mth.
i didn't stop him.
i agree with him.
on my way to vball
i almost teared but didn't
learning to be strong
i know i can.

i was thinking
'wat if i realli break up with him'
wat will my life be?'
will it be better for the both of us?
will my life be so lifely as b4.
will i be a loner.
will i be happy?
will he be happy?
will we both found our own happiness.
will we be together few yrs later?

i got home.
he sms me.
i didn't reply the first but i did the second time.
then we sms, after that chat on msn n then phone.
he sounds alrite
maybe it's becoz the past few times wasn't a serious break up
so he tot maybe this time is not either.
but this time i'm realli gave a very careful thinking.
i dun wish to repeat my mistake.

as i always say
if u love that person u need not need to be with that person.
i dunno.
do i still love him?
that's a huge ?
i'm confuse.
juz know that i feel numb.
i'm confuse by my thinking.
i dunno if i should continue with this bgr
or rather WE.

we may have lots of happy times.
but also lots of sad times.
aint bgr suppose to be happy forever?
isn't this is wat every couple will say
HAPPY FOREVER.
impossible.

he is the guy i once yearn for.
- smart
- caring
- helpful
- faithful
- friendly
- independent
- average looking
- able to bear with my attitude
- got a gd future ahead
- love his family
- dun have a attitude
- let me do the way i wan most of the time
- always there when i needed him
he is also a guy whom i once tot to be forever with.

he has so many gd points
y can't i juz bear with his 2 bad points?
is not that serious like he flirts or wat
is juz the way he talks n eat.
it's either he change or i bear with it.

everyone thinks that our relationship is so beautiful
but guys, u r wrong.
all relationship there r many factors that u dun get to see
it's hard to explain it out.
relationship r suppose to solve it between themselves.
they juz have to learn to face it.
i'm telling pple this.
but how abt me?
am i facing it?
i'm learning to.
pple who r at fault always run away from problems.
not denying, i'm one of them.

i'll onli face it when i have the courage to.
like now.
it started last nite.
i'm sorry, i broke my promise.
i told one of my fren.
not my best/close/gd fren.
but once my stead.
i know i shouldn't say this out
but i got to be honest.
i'm truely sorry.
it's juz that
i dunno how to tell others
though i'm talking to them.
they sounded happy juz dun wish to spoil it.
my ex whom is one of my close fren
came talking to me in a cheerful manner
but somehow i dare to face my problem with him.
maybe becoz he is a guy n i wan to know how a guy will feel
further more he was once with me.
anyway, i didn't tell him much.
he didn't ask much either.
he juz said we both(rennie n me) suit each other.
something like that.
that's all.

hmmm..i'll face it.
=)
considering carefully.
when u have found ur true love will u let go easily?
nope.
that's my ans.

***
wat if a guy/gal came along?
wat will u do?
***

me?
they will juz be my frens.
be it close fren or gd fren
but nvr my boyfren.
unless they r so much better than h[i]m.
which is so impossible.

-=words 4 my frens=-
n3tZz- u have always been my bf. however since i got into poly we seldom contact each other. nevertheless, u will always be my bf. we have lots of common interest as well as common thinking. so dun u ever forget me. =D cheers!

shuli- was married to me during sec 3 or sec 4? can't remember. LOLx. ever since we graduate we became closer. glad to know u! married couples 4eva ya? aka sisters! now u got 5 sis uh? haha... =P is this post long enough? LOLx.

melvin- hey u. =X dunno if u will read anot. LOLx. thanx eh. glad that u still keep in contact with me. despite.. wat he said last time. ahem. haha.. netz should know wat i mean. *remember netzz?* LOLx. ask me in private if u dun get it* hahax.. anyway thanx a lot buddy! =) btw, the band is still with me. -_-

weeeng- surprise to see ur name here? haha.. coz i know u will read my blog! so glad that miss lim change my place. so that i'll get to know u much more better! hehex.. thanx for everything u have done. though there aint much but at least u got me a name 'mini ferni'. haha.. we still close frens? aint we? =)

qiu ping- frens since sec 1. got f4 as my idol becoz of her t0o. =X haha.. since u went to 304 we didn't realli contact much. but u still remember my bday every yr!!! me t0o. =X lolx.. muz keep in contact alrite? maybe a few yrs back we will be closer. coz have more time! haha... stay happy gal. =)

guess no one else will read my blog.
lastly,
to u*- thanx for everything. dun be sad that it's so short. coz somethings need not say out. =)

♥, yours truely

juz finish my presentation.
phew.
first one to go up.
haha..
now slacking........

alrite let's get back abt suay DRAGONS.
am i thinking to much?
but the fact is that i'm very suay this month.
maybe it's because i know that i'm suay this month so i'm very sensitive abt being SUAY.
LOLx.
gosh.
it's scary.
better not think so much.
day by day. =)

S T R E S S
i'm stress.
i'm tired.

i feel that i can't carry on with my life.
LOLx.
not that serious lar.

but seriously i'm very stressed up.
i realli need a BREAK.

gonna be yr 2 soon.
that's fast.
soon i'll be yr 3
then graduate.
haha..
then work or uni?
dun give a damn.
juz step by step. =D
that's LIFE! isn't it?

enjoy ur life now n dun REGRET.
tata guys! engoy ur life! =D

♥, yours truely

wat a SUAY month.

hp got run over by cars.

got scolded on new year.

having pms n got push down into pool.

step on a gal's skirt n her skirt drop down in front of NP.

forgotten to bring my hp to sch.

got stomache on the way to sch.

got so many damn project to rush.

exams r in 1 months time.

GOSH! this month totally SUX.

♥, yours truely

sch is starting.
no. sch has already started.
no mood to go.
SIANZ
i miss HOLIDAY. =P
LOLx.
the coming sem has onli 7 weeks!
which is so FAST!
which also means we got to learn things faster.
gosh
but i dun mind coz after that will be our LONG holiday
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....................

alrite.
enough of my crap.
i wanna get my 6111.
should i or shouldn't i?
money is hard to earn eh
coz i'm not using my mum's $$ this time
but my own.
then slowly got to pay my own bills too.
LOLx.

in conculsion,
MONEY is HARD to EARN.
=(

♥, yours truely

hi guys!
check this out.

i've juz added a game in my blog.
SONIC!
hehex..it's located below the photos.
free feel to play.
dun worry it's free. =)

have fun guys!
i'll try n change the game montly.
so that u all wont get bored. LOLx.

♥, yours truely

i've change my blog skin.

NOT becoz i wanted to
but i have to.
coz the old one was somehow destroy.

half of my blog template was gone when i went to my blog ytd.
i luv my old blog.
it's nice dun u think so? =X

nvm. starting to LUV this new one.
LOLx.
remember to give some comments! hehe..

alrite pple. REST well. take care. =P

♥, yours truely

COMMON TEST WEEK IS FINALY OVER!

anyway i onli got 2 tests. =X
haha..

fall sick on wed.
watch a program on 'spirit talk' that nite.
had a strange sleep.
didn't on air-con that nite.
i was dreaming
as if i was playing a game
dunno if it was a game or wat.
juz know that when i guess correctly i would wake up n look around me.
this went on n on for like 5-6 times
n i keep waking up
till i dunno how to sleep.
as in dunno wat is the feeling when u r sleeping.
whenever i close my eyes the 'game' starts.
LOLx.
weird uh. i've no idea t0o.

oh ya, btw, the previous post there's a typo error should be counting down for 2006 not XMAS.
=X
haha.. sorry abt it.
=)

♥, yours truely

HAPPY NEW YEAR guys.

it's the worst new year i ever came across.
after u read abt my day n u will understand it.

stayed at home till 6pm.
wai ying came to my house
becoz we r going to esplanade to count down for Xmas
or rather go n look at fire works with my pri frens n her frens.

wai ying n i went to great world
coz i needed to play my bills at AXN.
when paying
suddenly a guy pop out.
asking for number.
both wai ying n i r stunt
coz we dun think this kind of stuff will happen on us anymore
after remi's incident (some of u will understand wat i mean =) )
the guy was short.
bearly taller than me by a few cm.
he looks young
like sec 2-3 boy -_-'''
rejected him anyway
juz said dun wan to give him
then he said juz frens
luckily i was still able to stay calm n smile n said i dun wan
LOLx.

after this we went to walk around at great world
then wanted to take a free shutter to city hall
but we were juz bearly late for 8 MIN (from a time slot lasted bus was 8pm)
n we got to walk abt 400m to the bus stop n take 32.

city hall was crowded.
manage to meet my frens
then went to esplanade to meet the rest of her frens.
spotted a space to sit near the river
sat down at 9 ++
n they said us dragons will have bad luck in 2006
(read on n u get wat i mean.)
then around 11.30
my fren wanted to go to the loo
n i told her how to get out when there r so many pple sitting around.
even if u manage to get out it's hard to get in.
getting out was no problem to us juz kept saying 'sorry'
getting in was the problem
can't believe SINGAPOREANS r so SELFISH
damn.
they purposely put their hands n legs so that we can't cross over
esp there's two STUPID uncles put theis hands n legs when we said 'excuse me'
n said 'how r u gonna cross like this. if u can u cross LAH!'
so selfish rite.
but our seats r already inside. haiz..

after that was the fire works.
no count down
the fire works at esplanade was
B E A U T I F U L
those who went will agree with me.
the best fire works i ever seen.
how i wish he was there t0o. =)

after the fire works everyone start spraying snow(foam) n stuff.
n my whole head n shirt r filled with it
LOLx
n my frens r all running away
screaming away
haha..
then when we were walking under the bridge
some INCONSIDERATE fellow
threw something hard that hit my frens head
then the thing rebound to my hand.
it was so hard then cause my hand to bleed!
it's a small cut though.
my fren was so strong that she juz merely rubbed her head
but luckily there's no sign of bleeding.

manage to squeeze onto bus 75 after that.
going to 'kim seng brigde' near zouk(our hangout place)
n play fire crackers.
on the way, i quarrel with him.
on the new year. haiz..

then while walking pass zouk
a lot of pple r vomitting.
then went to find a place n play.
the fire cracker is a special kind which will produce a sound like the fire works.
it's juz a similar but smaller kind of fire works. =)
had a lot of fun.
then suddenly there's two ang moh i think
shouted happy new year to us
n ask us to go zouk n have fun.
-_-''' we juz shouted back that
WE ARE UNDERAGED.
haha..
then continue to have fun.

at 2am
the nightmare begins.

we were crossing a main road
where all the car r dashing.
we ran
i was the last 2 wai ying was the last
i dropped something didn't bothered to turn back n take it
wai ying wanted to take it but a car was dashing
so my fren scream at her
n she quickly ran across.
juz then i realise i have drop my hp.
as we were praying that it will not be ran over by cars
it did.
a few min ago i was using it
now it's crashed.
it's not onli once but a few times
sad? yes, very sad.
we were all stunt.
can u imagine if it was a human
it's gonne be worse.
the squashing sound was horrible, terrible.
i ran back to get my pieces of hp back.
ran back a few times while my fren look out cars for me.
got back front cover, sim card, n one photo(with him).
wanted to continue looking for the other 2 photos
which i took with xy, net n deb, shuli.
but my fren stopped me.
they said it's too dangerous
i realli wanted to get back so badly
becoz i dun wan it to be on the road.
i was still stunt n scared.
trying to pretend as nothing happen in front of my frens.
but deep inside i feel so scared n sad.

on the way home, i saw a big dead flatten lizard.
haiz..
everything juz went wrong.
called him when i reached home.
no one was at home except my maid.
i was so scared that i cried then i talk to him wherever i go
till i was so tired n he got to work later
so i hung up the phone n sleep with lights on.

there goes my day.
take care guys.

*to netzz, xy, deb, shuli : i'm realli very sorry. i dun mean to leave the photos on the road. i'm realli sorry. hope u can understand. take care. i'm realli truely sorry abt it.

♥, yours truely