minnfenn ♥ 敏芬

fang bu xie

i wish whatever happen was a dream.
wo fang bu xie.
i try to act as normal as i can when i'm home facing my mum, but i failed too.
to the extend that i'm reluctant to go home and face her.
i know she feels bad too but.... sigh.

how i wish it was a dream.
it's hard. it's harder than i thought to cope with it.

this makes me want to work doubly hard.
i hate to say this but i have to as it serve as a reminder to myself.
i don't wish money to be an issue to me when i grow old and i don't wish to be a burden to my kids in future.

♥, yours truely

have you ever....

throw temper to someone u loved dearly?
throw away ur fav shoe?
throw away someone's fav shoe?
throw away an expensive shoe?

forgive someone immediately after they accidentally threw something u loved?
forgive someone immediately after they made a mistake?

gone to the rubbish dump to dig for things?
tried talking to cleaner/ or even smile to them?
talk to neighbours around u?

i had all of this within one morning.

mum throw away a pair of expensive shoes that was given to me by my aunt. this was due to miscommunication and that i'm returning it to my aunt as it was too big for me. thus, it was place near the door so as it will be easier for me to be reminded to bring it the next morning. however it was placed near and empty box(which is supposed to be thrown away by myself) & in another bag there were shoe and new clips. I was suppose to bring it yesterday but i only remembered when i'm at the bus stop waiting for my bus to arrive and since it was raining i decided only to bring tomorrow. To think that yesterday morning was my lucky day as when i just reached the bus stop my bus came.

This morning when i woke up i remembered that i need to bring the bag of things. i was shocked when i couldn't find that bag! i quickly rushed in to my mum's room and asked, to my dismay she said she threw it away. I was in a lost. Without any hesitation i ran down to search everywhere, asking neighbours around me and even when to the rubbish dump. I happy to say every single one of them was very helpful and friendly. Yes, it was a terrible mistake. As it was a very expensive gift (almost to 4 digits). I broke down when the cleaners told me they didn't see it.

At that pt of time, i was angry with myself, my mum and that man. (kick that man out of the story cause it just make me hate him more). I was thinking why my mum would try the shoe away keeping that bag of new clips. it's ironic isn't it? when both the shoe and clips are in the same bag. Not to say that shoe is in perfect condition. To think back, yesterday morning I've forgotten to bring my mobile phone along thus, i gave my mum 2 calls in the morning to tell her to call me at the office if anythings happen OR if she needs to ask me/look for me.

Called my aunt but she was in the bathroom. Aunt returned called 20min later, sounding frighten to ask me what happened. Intitally she told something happen to my mum as her left leg has been giving her problem. However, when I told her what had happened, she says in a consoling tone, "it's alright sweetheart, that's a small matter", which totally warms my heart but made me felt even worse in a way. She even laughed to say "it's doesn't matter, what matter most is ur relation with your mum. I think your mum must be feeling bad now, just tell her it's alright", she said it with a smile (though i can't see but i felt it).

When angered me even more is that everything when i have a conflict with mum she will always blame my aunt that she spoilts us, which is irritating. she always brings up the past and start blaming everyone but not herself. I'm not saying she isn't nice but to a certain extend she could have been better in the past. I'm not perfect either, no one is.

However, i'm glad this happen. I met so many nice people, whom most rich aint. One neighbour even gave me a hug consoling me that "it's just an item, what's important is health. You can always buy a new edition and earn more money to get it" and also my aunt's reaction towards this matter. I mean everyone makes mistake. You got to know how to 'fang xie' (let it go). This will kept in mind so that if someone were to accidently throw something expensive that belongs to u, it might be a blessing in disguise.
"bu yao ba qian kian de tai zhong".

I have learned many things in the past one month working with my aunt. I am happy to have nice people around me. (:

this is love.

many have said intelligent people are the ones without graditute. how true is that? asked yourself.
gracious is something u have to learn to give and of course to recevie as well.

♥, yours truely

Work life.

started working ever since the following week after my exams.
since then i've been sleeping at the latest 11pm and i can go to bed as early as 9pm.
thus, i'm unable to keep up with my social life as over the weekends i've family commitment.

unless..... dates are planned before hand. (:

till then,
i hope life gets better.

loves. (:

♥, yours truely