minnfenn ♥ 敏芬

This is to remind us of the boyfriends, girlfriends, hubbies, wives, or even friends and family members whom we sometimes take for granted.
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My husband is an engineer.

Since I met him, he was always anunflappable rock in my life.

I knew he always had his feet firmly planted on the ground, and it seemed that no matter what else went crazy, he would be the one constant.

Three years of romance, and two years of marriage later, I got tired.

He was the most unromantic man I know.

He never bought me flowers, he never surprised me, and nothing changed in our marriage.

After some time, I finally found the courage to tell him that I wanted to leave him.

He just sat there, speechless.

My heart froze ...

what kind of man was I married to that didn't even know what to say to make me stay?

After a while, he spoke,

"What can I do to change your mind?"
"I will stay if you can give me a good answer to this question,"
I replied coldly."

If I asked for a flower that grew on a cliff, and you knew thatgetting it for me means certain
death, would you get it for me?"

His face grew troubled."

Can I give you an answer tomorrow morning?"

he asked.

Hearing that kind of answer, my heart died.

I knew that I could neverbe happy with a man who couldn't even give me a answer straight
away.

The next morning, when I woke up, he was missing.

In the living room,under a warm glass of milk, was a note.

My eyes grew misty as I read it ..."Dear, I have my answer.
I will never pick the flower for you if itmeant certain death.
But before you leave, I hope you can give me achance to give you my reasons .....
You will always sit in front of the computer and type about for the whole day,
but every time you will end up in tears cause your formatting will always go all over the place...
I need my fingers, to do the formatting for you, so your tears will become smiles.
You like to travel, but would always get lost ...
I need my eyes, so that I can bring you to the nicest places on earth.
Every time you leave the house, you would always forget your keys ...
I need my legs, so that I can run home to open the door for you.
You never knew how to take care of yourself...
I need my hands to help you get rid of the pesky white hair you hate so much when you grow
old, to trim your nails, to feed you.
So you see, that's why I can't pick the flower for you.
Until I find someone who loves you more than I do, I will need my body to take care of you.
If you accept my reasons, then open the door, where I will be waiting with your favorite muffin."

With tears streaming from my eyes, I opened the door, and there he stood, with a extremely

worried look on his face.

He still had nothing to say, but just stood there waving the packet he had in his hand in front of
me.

And then I knew for a fact that I will never find another man who will ever love me as much as
he does.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean that they don't
love you with all they have ...

♥, yours truely

my life is in a total mess.

life isn't fair.
pls agree to it.

all i hope...
is to be
HAPPY

maybe this yr aint a gd yr for me afterall.

ihateu
iluvu
it doesn't matter.

dun be too gd to me.
it's not worth it.
dun fall in luv with me.
u will get hurt.
juz be my fren.
u will be happier.

♥, yours truely

i've always wonder wat will my life be if......
i had a complete n happy family..
there's someone who truely understand me..
my grandparents r still here..
i'm able to go see my father..
i didn't step in the first relationship..
i did better for my PSLE/O's..
i was the perfect person in the world..
i was born a boy.

pple always wonder.
don't u?

_____________________________________________

once again.....
i cried on my way home.
i was hoping someone was there.
how stupid.
i told myself to be strong.
but i failed to.
i dun even dare to go home.
when i was abt to walk up to my house i saw my mum.
right away i walk towards the main road.
once again i walk aimlessly.
couldn't make up my mind where to go.
so i walk n walk n walk.. till a park.
sat there.
was wondering when will the time come
where someone juz appear in front of me
telling me "Be Strong, gal".
ha! how stupid.

the one i luv, juz hurt me so much that he dun even realise wat he did wrong.
maybe i'm juz too sensitive.
maybe i have too high hopes on him.

however..
the one who luv me, was hurt by me once again n again
nevertheless he still stand by me, always.
i'm guilty. seriously i am very guilty.
i'm very grateful.
whenever i was down he is there, always.
the things he did for me, i was touched.
if only....

i tried to accept him.
but i failed to. somethings juz hinder me to do so.
i dunno. i juz look upon him as a bro.
i'm sorry.

y muz my love life get so complicated when my family is already so complicated.
am i the cause for all this?
after reading colin and kero blog i find them a lot more fortunate than me.
still so sweet though they were look down by others.
admire them.
haha.. the world changing. ((:

*yes..i know i know.
Mr W3ng muz be thinking i'm so emontional again.
haha.. =P

*n3tZz, take care! hope to see u on fri for the selection. get well soon. take care.. luv ya. :))

♥, yours truely

i'm tired.
i dunno wat i wan.
all i wan now is to be happy.
but isn't as easy as i tot.

i dun wish to hurt anyone anymore.
neither do i wish to get hurt by anyone.
i dun wish to shed anymore tears
when no one is there to wipe it.
i dun wish to face anymore complicated problems.
i'm seriously tired.

i have got a lot of things to say.
but i dunno how to start.
my mind is in a mess now.
i've been making myself tired.
staying up late at nite so that i can wake up late too.
at last i slept till 2pm today.
time flies when u r sleeping.

i'm a useless gf.
i'm not understanding enough.
i'm selfish.
i'm immature.
i'm not as gd as u think.
all my relationship is a failer.
so am i.
i'm trying to be a gd gf.
a gf that everyone will envys
but i failed to do so.
instead they feel so fortuntate that their gf isn't like me.

i miss going to sch.
i miss p2a5.
i miss hearing their laughter.
i miss the lecturers too.
however i dun miss the lecture notes.
haha..

i juz luv going to sch.
where i'm free.
i'm not lonely.
n i'm happy.
maybe becoz i'm fortunate enough to be in p1a5/p2a5!
*luv them bits.

i can't imagine sch life without them.
i dun dare to imagine wat's gonna happen next sem
where everyone will be in diff classes.
i hate it.
i juz hope time will stop here rite now.

♥, yours truely

i dunno if i'm wrong to be jealous.
i dunno if i'm wrong to be act that way.
blog is suppose to type watever u wan.
no one has the rite to stop u.
maybe i shouldn't have see that post.
haiz.. i'm sorry *to the blogger.
*doubt she knows i've got a blog.*

i juz feel i'm like the cause of everything.
watever i do it's wrong.
i know i'm weak.
i'm trying to cheer pple up when i myself is unhappy.
am i faking?
but when i fails to cheer them up i thinks that i'm useless.
i realli wish someone will be there to cheer me up.
however i dun show out my true feelings to anyone.
unless i realli broke down.
but, i still choose to cry it out.
:))
maybe that's me ba.

i can't think anymore.
or rather i dun wish to think.
i tired.
i dun wan to face it.
i always wanted to be a gd fren or a gd gf.
but guess i fail to do it.
i'm like a failer.
bad in studies, bad in being a leader, bad in everything.

few days back.
someone told me he actualli likes me last yr.
i was shock ok.
i dun even feel a single thing.
as in somehow if someone like u
u tend to know abit but juz not sure if it's real.
but for this case i totally dun feel a single thing.
can't disclose much.
he is juz someone i wasn't realli close with.
becoz we r juz purely classmates that we wont talk much
n he join other classmates to suan me.
-_-'''
LOL.

going to work later.
HAPPY!
i'm seriously happy working.
:))

♥, yours truely

i'm confuse.
i'm sad.
i'm angry.
i'm faking.
i'm crazy.
i'm lonely.
i'm tired.
i'm stress.

I AM NO LONGER ME.

i'm learning to be independent.
i'm learning to be strong.
i'm learning to be happy.
i'm learning to be likeable.
i'm learning to be smart.

I WANNA CHANGE ME.

luv is...
i dun wan to hear that i'm beautiful nor pretty.
all i wan to hear is..
i'm someone special.

♥, yours truely

i'm so so bored.
i shall crap wat ever i wan here.

fri (05/05/06)
went to sch for practical onli.
i skip my 2 lecture.
reason: becoz of work (an event going on)
initially i feel very bad.
coz studies SHOULD come FIRST
as i have promised my aunt.
however if i go for my lecture i wont listen
whereas if i go for the event as least i can gain some expierence.
which is something u can't expierence it everytime.
so i choose to go for the event.
the place was so cool
the company was BP at harbour front.
there's a room for u to relax
got palsma tv, computer to play n most importantly FOOD.
there's also a lot of meeting room with sound proof door.
n the door is freaking heavy.
haha...
all we need to do there is to scope ice cream for the workers there.
if onli i work there too.
haha..
scope non-stop for 3 hrs! can u imagine.
my manager n my hands couldn't take it nearing to the end.
LOL.
but after everything i was exploring the room
as my outlet manager say i can take watever food i wan there.
oh my, IT'S LIKE HEAVEN.
so many food n drinks.
i drink n drink like nobody business.
i drank 2 cans of MILO!!! n a green tea.
haha..
not forgetting to take some food too.
i da pao back to my shop too.
hehe..
it was a wonderful expierence.
u get to see typical singaporean there too.
:))

later gonna play vball le.
6 more hrs to go.
rotting............
staying at home alone is so boring.
hate it.
bye.

wishing.................

♥, yours truely

HA! i'm still alive.

not dead yet.
LOL.

sooooo tired.

busy life = happy life

hehex... :))

♥, yours truely

i'm juz too tired of everything.

i had enough.

dun wish to think anymore.

my tears r all dried up.

i'm numb.

be it u luv me, like me, hate me.
i can't think anymore.
gonna have a breakdown soon.
treat me as ur gf, bf, cf, fren, enemy
i dun give a damn.
all i wan is juz to be HAPPY.
but sadly, i failed to do so.

someday somewhere
i wish i hope
my life would end happily
be it poor or rich
as long as everyone around me is healthy
be it single or attach
i juz wanna be happy

to be continue...

♥, yours truely

fuck.

i shouldn't have waited.

he lied to me once again n again.

though he has his reason

which is WORK.

haiz..............

i am disappointed.

i tot i could end my day happily.

tears roll down again.

wtf.

y can't i juz let go of it.

anyway, thx guys.
shuli, jeremy n mak for going out with me.
i realli enjoy my day with u guys.
at least part of my day was a happy one.
god is fair.
there's sad as well as happy
always.

♥, yours truely